Become your own beloved

Snowdrops after the rain, ©2018 Nicole Bratt

Hello, friends,

It’s February. The new year has emerged, and the first glimpses of spring are showing themselves in the Pacific Northwest. Plans are percolating that stretch into the late spring and summer already! Despite so many other dark things happening in the world, I feel glimmers of hope renewed.

This is the time of year when my former studio, Seattle Yoga Arts, would have launched the popular “Love the One You Are” campaign. The studio’s chosen theme for this month that contains Valentine’s Day was to embrace and wholeheartedly love yourself, from the inside out… to flip the script on the “I’m not ______ enough” culture that we all swim in. We teachers constructed classes that wove the beautiful and important yoga teachings of self-love, self-regard, santosa (contentment), svadhyaya (self-awareness), ahimsa (compassion), brahmacharya (balance), ishvara pranidhana (surrender), and so on.

Last Friday, I was attending a practice* lead by Lara Sanderson. At one point she said, in her flowing and intuitive poetic way: “become your own beloved”. These words echoed in me for the duration of the practice. “Yes!”, my heart said. 

How many of us fight with ourselves on the daily? Are you your own most severe critic? How often do you catch yourself with negative and harsh self talk? Sometimes, others call me on it before I realize I’ve done it out loud. Do you downplay your unique magic under the common social norms not to “toot your own horn”? Do you sabotage your boundaries or needs in various ways? Do you give all of yourself away, so there’s none of you left for you?

How can we cultivate deeper and more consistent kindness with ourselves?

I recognize that we are human, and moments come and go – some that we feel more kind towards ourselves, and others when we do not. So how can we tip the scales so that more moments are infused with loving kindness? So we can touch back into being our own beloved? How do we remind ourselves?

One formula works well for me consistently (when I do it, that is!):
move my body mindfully every day + be with myself quietly every day.

I move my body so that I can fully connect with it, in reality, as it is, today (not how I think it should be) AND to harness the very real power of endorphins. Sometimes it’s through a yoga practice, as you might guess, but just as often it’s an outdoor walk, a hike in Nature with my dog, a living room dance minute, or a sweaty gym workout.

Embodiment is only half my equation, though. I’ve learned I must choose to make quality alone time a priority. These days, that usually looks like sitting in meditation, walking by myself, napping, reading, or writing. Whatever it is, it’s usually quiet and distraction-free (read: no screens).

What works for you? How do you nurture your most important relationship – the one with yourself?

So much love & deep bows,
Nicole

*My heart friend and colleague, Lara Sanderson, is now offering a donation-based, online-only Gentle Yoga & Meditation practice on Friday evenings. It’s a delicious and soothing way to wind down your week and transition to the weekend. Learn more